After two months of research, I've finally come to the conclusion that the Orioles would be better off with Georgia Angelos (Pete Angelos' wife) in right field than with Sammy Sosa there. I had expected this all along, but it was good to see that the facts support my initial hypothesis.
There are a number of reasons for my conclusion. Some of them can be backed by statistics (i.e. the impact of the double plays that he consistently grounds into). Some of them cannot (i.e. the impact on team and city morale from his rolled-up sleeves on his uniform). Regardless, a careful look at the tangible and intangible considerations make it clear that new coach Sam Perlozzo has only one option - replace Sammy with Georgia.
Granted, I know that many people will object that Georgia is (a) old, and (b) married to the owner, which could have adverse effects on her salary negotiations. But, I don't think these arguments hold much water for two reasons. First of all, since she is old, I think it is unlikely that she will ever make contact with a pitch. I just don't see how she could catch up to a major league fastball, unless she used a really small bat (<10 ounces) and choked up significantly. Furthermore, with a bat that small, I don't believe she could put a ball in play. So, right there, you could wipe out the 14 double plays that Sammy has grounded into this year. With Javy Lopez hitting behind Sammy (now Georgia), it's safe to assume that at least two-thirds of those runners would score, plus additional runs for prolonged innings, etc. Conservatively, I estimate that the impact of this change would be a net positive of 22.1 runs so far this season. Since the Orioles have lost a lot of close games, and Sammy seems to specialize in timing his GIDPs for critical situations, I assume that those 22.1 runs would turn 14 losses into wins, putting the Orioles square in the middle of the wild card race. With regard to the potential for nepotistic salary negotiation, leading to an unfair ballooning of the Orioles payroll, I don't see it as a problem. At $75M, the Orioles payroll has room for expansion, and if Georgia is going to produce, then she deserves to get paid.
Secondly, let's address the sleeves. I'm not exactly sure when Sammy stopped being able to wear shirts without the sleeves rolled up, but in 2005 it's just plain embarrassing. If he was hitting a lot of home runs (i.e. circa 2002), then I think he could potentially get away with looking like this much of a douche bag, but even then it's a stretch. Since he does not hit home runs, and all he does is ground into double plays, then I think the rolled up sleeves is not even on the table as an option. Perhaps Sammy got so jacked up on steroids that he can't reach his sleeves to roll them down, but that still doesn't explain how they get rolled up in the first place, and I'm sure he could either pay someone to do it for him, or take the shirt off and roll down the sleeves while the shirt is on a table or something. As it stands, I can feel the collective embarrassment level for the city of Baltimore rise every time he struts up to the plate with his "guns" a' blazing.
While I don't claim to know everything about baseball and will certainly leave the big decisions to the coaching staff and Jim Beattie, I do think that this one simple change would pay serious dividends on an immediate basis.